"A long, long way to go..."

That is what my Donut of Misery says. Well, now it's more of a Pie of Misery than a Donut of Misery since the donut continued to stay at 100% on my Mac and I had to remake it. Oh, how I wish the donut was true and we were at 100%. That would be amazing. This donut better start becoming nicer and nicer in what it says before I get mad at it. Hahah.

I must admit, I have been doing pretty fairly with this deployment. It's not too hard on me but it's not a great feeling having C halfway across the world either. I miss him unbelievably and I'm still dying for that moment my phone rings with that first phone call. I jump when I see someone in their ACU's or anything else U.S. Army related and I admit, I do have a wave of sadness overcome me, but I do like to believe that I am handling this quite well.

What do I hate most about this? (Let me first tell you, that it's really hard for me to actually say that I HATE something). Well, I hate that I can't call him when I wake up in the middle of the night from a horrible nightmare. I hate that I can't wake up in the morning and think about whether he's awake or not so that I can call him. I hate that I can just tell him I'm going to go visit him next week to spend the weekend with him. I just hate all of this and the list continues, but I agreed to this when he first told me about deployment and I know I can't back out now. No, I won't back out now. My heart tells me that all of this is worth going through for him and hey, people do say, "Listen to your heart."

This is what it is; what I've chosen: to be the girl of a soldier.