Day 43: A new time difference.

I've been in Korea for the past week and the new time difference is killing me! I'm so used to having C being 7 hours ahead of me but in Korea, I'm 6 hours ahead of me so I haven't been able to chat with him for about 2 weeks now. He's been going on missions and I've been sleeping when he has the chance to get online.

Honestly, I don't really know what I've been feeling for the past 2 weeks. I do miss him, a crazy amount, but it's been hard to keep going when I can't talk to him. We've been trying to email each other whenever we can but even that just doesn't seem like it's hitting the spot at this moment. I want to see his face (even at least on Skype) and chat with him and hear his voice.

I can't wait to go back home and go back to what I was used to. Being able to go on my phone and be online waiting for him wherever I was. I never thought that I would hate being on vacation because of this deployment but now, I do because of the time difference lol.

But we have made it to day 43. Woot, go us!

Day 33.

To be quite honest, I must say that this deployment hasn't been that hard. Yes, I miss him like crazy and sometimes, feel like I will literally GO crazy just because I miss him so much, but it's not as hard as I expected. I'm just trying to take it day by day and just look forward to the next time I can talk to him again, which will hopefully be online today!

So today, I'm going to go to the post office to send out his next care packages (yes, there are 2 going out this time because I put in a lot of snacks that were fat because of the air in them haha). I'm very excited for C to receive these two packages, more than the first one I sent, because I put all of his favorites in them. It just helps that just by sending care packages, I can help him feel a sense of home and love, from me! :)

I have two days before I leave for my trip to Korea for 3 weeks. Instead of thinking about being able to see family and actually going somewhere for the summer, I'm thinking about how often I'll be able to talk to C and whether or not I'll have computer access to send him my daily emails! Sorry family! I'll definitely miss being able to chat with him daily and Skyping with him, but I'm trying to see it as once I get back, we'll be 3 weeks closer.

Day 28: 4 Weeks!

It has been 4 weeks since he's left! I can't believe it! Honestly, time has gone by so fast for the first month. I've been busy trying to get ready for my trip to Korea, which I'm leaving for Saturday, and trying to find an apartment for school. I finally found a place for school, which I'll be moving into as soon as I get back from Korea. By the time I get back from Korea, it'll be almost 2 months down! Once I get back from Korea and move in, I'll be able to go visit C's family and possibly go sailing with his mother so I'm excited and look forward to it!

We were able to have our first Skype date yesterday and it was amazing! It's so nice to see his face, even through a computer monitor. It was nice to hear his "hello," to see his smile, to see his dorky facial expressions. It was just simply amazing! He received my care package and said he got made fun of a lot hahah because of what I wrote on the box. Now his friends asking him if he's feeling army strong.

I haven't heard from him today yet. Someone told me there was a sandstorm in Iraq today and although I don't know if that's true, I'm guessing that's the reason why he hasn't been able to come online yet. I'm hoping I'll be able to hear from him soon. I miss him so much and now I'm actually worried.

How I made it a month, I have no idea. Right now though, the hardest part is trying not to look ahead and count how many months we have left because that makes it hard. Gotta stay strong.

Love knows no distance.

I'm a bit late in posting about my first care package, but it was completed and sent out on Monday! I'm just anxiously waiting for him to let me know that he got it (although I didn't tell him I sent him something so that it would be a surprise when he gets it).

The box says "Distance means nothing at all when our love is freakin' Army strong." I know, it's a little corny but I thought that in the end, corny is what would make him laugh. The hearts have a quote about love and distance. The first says, "Love knows no distance, time, nor boundaries. Love only knows love." The second heart says, "Distance between two hearts is not an obstacle, rather, it's just a great reminder of how strong true love can be." It doesn't show in the picture but I took four Polaroid pictures of me holding up the letters L-O-V-E with my hands and added two each next to the hearts. I'm excited for him to get it because I want to know his reaction to it. I'm sure he'll get made fun of but oh well, too bad for him! Haha

I honestly feel like he has everything he needs or wants there with the exception of a few things. Something tells me that putting things together for a care package every month will be a little hard. Although, I must say, I'm having so much fun with these! :)

Well, other than that, I've been able to talk to him everyday for the past few days on AIM. It's a great feeling having him come online and chatting away for sometimes even an hour! Although, I must say, the time difference is killing me! Now, I'm always trying stay up until 2/3AM hoping he would come online sometime soon so that I can go to sleep! And then I would wake up around 5, see if he's online, go back to sleep and wake up for good around 8/9. It just makes me so exhausted throughout the day.

It's 9:20PM now and I'm actually considering taking a nap so that I can wake up around 2 and not be too tired to stay awake. But all of this is so worth it for him! Day 26 and still strong!

Day 19.

Today is day 19 since he's been gone. How am I feeling? Well, not any different really. I mean, I still miss him a crazy amount. A lot of things remind me of him and every time, I just want to pick up my phone and send him a text message or call him. Oh, the temptation. I must admit, I do call his phone once in a while just to hear his voicemail greeting.

I started putting together his first care package. I feel like I bought way too much for a box too small. While trying to shove everything into a 12x12x5.5 box, I realized that by the end of this deployment, I'll be a professional at putting a whole bunch of things into a 12x12x5.5 sized box. I wonder what C's reaction would be when he comes home and sees what I've become. I'll just respond with, "Yes, this is what I've always wanted to become and you have helped me become it: a professional box organizer." Oh, but everything fit into the box PERFECTLY! No more room to fit anything else, no extra space lol. Although, I just remembered that I have a DVD I ordered for him being shipped.

Oh, I also got us Build-a-Bears (There's a picture on the side!). One's dressed as him and one's dressed in an outfit that I would probably wear. I'm going to send him "me" and I'm going to keep "him." I added a recording into "me" so that he can hear my voice lol. I do feel terribly sorry that he will probably get made fun of by the boys but oh well, what can I say? I have my needs and my needs are to send him this bear!

I'm excited for him to receive it and tell me his reactions to everything. Because he doesn't have easy internet access, I had to figure out what he would like, what he would want, what he would need all on my own. The hardest part about this care package? Finding snacks for him. He only eats snacks that "give back to his body" meaning only healthy snacks. And those, are hard to find in my opinion lol. When I'm done putting everything together, definitely will add some pictures! :)

Phone calls: 0

Emails sent: 22

Emails received: 2

Letters sent: 0

Letters received: 0

"A long, long way to go..."

That is what my Donut of Misery says. Well, now it's more of a Pie of Misery than a Donut of Misery since the donut continued to stay at 100% on my Mac and I had to remake it. Oh, how I wish the donut was true and we were at 100%. That would be amazing. This donut better start becoming nicer and nicer in what it says before I get mad at it. Hahah.

I must admit, I have been doing pretty fairly with this deployment. It's not too hard on me but it's not a great feeling having C halfway across the world either. I miss him unbelievably and I'm still dying for that moment my phone rings with that first phone call. I jump when I see someone in their ACU's or anything else U.S. Army related and I admit, I do have a wave of sadness overcome me, but I do like to believe that I am handling this quite well.

What do I hate most about this? (Let me first tell you, that it's really hard for me to actually say that I HATE something). Well, I hate that I can't call him when I wake up in the middle of the night from a horrible nightmare. I hate that I can't wake up in the morning and think about whether he's awake or not so that I can call him. I hate that I can just tell him I'm going to go visit him next week to spend the weekend with him. I just hate all of this and the list continues, but I agreed to this when he first told me about deployment and I know I can't back out now. No, I won't back out now. My heart tells me that all of this is worth going through for him and hey, people do say, "Listen to your heart."

This is what it is; what I've chosen: to be the girl of a soldier.

Isn't She Lucky?

I decided to start this blog to just record my thoughts throughout C's first deployment. This is "my" first deployment as well. It's been about two weeks since the last time I've seen him and it feels like it's been two months.

I have to admit, that the beginning is really hard, although I have no idea what it's going to be like as time passes. Hopefully, it will get easier and I will get used to all the random tears, the sadness that overcomes me when my friends or sister enjoy their time with their boyfriends, the loneliness that I feel as I watch a movie at night and wish he was here with me. Yet, I can't help but feel like I'm the lucky one that will experience an overflowing amount of joy when my time comes to be with him again. I can't wait until I get his address so that the real fun of the deployment can begin.

If anything, I'm lucky to be offered this experience, which without him, I would've never been offered. I'm lucky to have someone to miss thousands of miles away from me, and to have someone missing me in a place, which without him, I probably would've never even think of unless I hear about it on the news. I'm lucky that I receive emails and handwritten letters, something that has died out a long time ago when technology took over everyone's minds. I'm lucky that I can experience meeting a loved one for a second first time with that next first kiss.

Yes, I'll have to say, military SO's are the lucky ones.

Phone calls: 0

Emails sent: 17

Emails received: 1

Letters sent: 0

Letters received: 0